Psychologist Reveals Eight Signs You May Be a ‘Doormat’
If you’re habitually feeling like others tend to walk all over you, there could be a reason for it. Or eight reasons, to be specific, according to one leading psychologist.
Dr. Lalitaa Suglani, an award-winning mental health expert based out of Birmingham, U.K. who specializes in relationships, anxiety, adult ADHD, and imposter syndrome, recently complied a list of eight signs that indicate that you may be a doormat in your relationships. Suglani shared the list in a helpful infographic on her popular Instagram account to help teach her followers how to better assert themselves and pave the way to healthy relationships.
“In many relationships, we find ourselves inadvertently taking on the role of a doormat, allowing others to tread over us,” Suglani writes, noting that the the term “doormat” isn’t intended to offend anyone so much as highlight common behavior patterns in which we let others treat us in ways that make us uncomfortable.
“This passivity can quietly build resentment and frustration within us while we remain silent,” she continues. “We need to remember that our feelings, needs, and boundaries are just as valid as anyone else’s. It’s essential to find our voice, express our concerns, and stand up for ourselves in a respectful and assertive manner.”
“Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, understanding, and open communication,” Suglani adds. “People learn how to treat you based on what you allow, what you stop and what you reinforce.”
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Of the eight signs you may let others treat you like a doormat include difficulty saying ‘no’ to requests or demands, prioritizing others’ needs over your own because you worry about upsetting them, feeling like you have no control in your life, and allowing boundaries to be consistency crossed.
If you find yourself often feeling overwhelmed or stressed due to accommodating others and over-committing, that’s another major sign, as is fear of standing up for yourself, specifically as it relates to speaking your truth to avoid conflicts, and feeling taken advantage of. Finally, having low self-esteem or a lack of self-confidence is particularly conducive to being treated like a doormat, as the other issues can manifest when you’re not able to see your own worth.
Fortunately, if your confidence has taken a hit, it’s never too late to get it back. We’re all human and fallible, and sometimes it takes as little as hitting the gym more often or taking risks in your personal or professional life to believe in oneself again.